How to build bridges with a team member you don't get on with |
Posted: May 3, 2019 |
Every human being is different and in a team full of strong personalities there is no surprise that on occasion, personalities clash. If you find yourself in the unfortunate position of having a coworker that you don't get on with then it can make the office an unhappy place. Fear not however as there are ways to build bridges with these individuals that you find it difficult to bond with. Accepting that you may never be friends, but can work in a professional capacity is a good start to moving forwards and finding a mutual respect.
Courses fromParallel Project Training teach project manager apprentices that communication is key to building relationships and working effectively as a team. This is true whether you are a trainee or a senior manager. If there is an individual that you struggle to communicate effectively with then try thinking about the ways in which you communicate with them. Communication via email or text is notoriously problematic for misinterpretation of the message. Without facial expression or tone of voice, a message that is intended to be friendly or jokey could instead come across as cold or hostile. Where there is room for misinterpretation, speak face-to-face when possible.
Communication is not only about the way that you speak to someone or message them, but also in the way that you listen to them. Active listening is a skill that everyone in project management should understand and practice. A good way of actively listening is to repeat back to somebody an interpretation of what they have just said to you. This helps them to understand that you have heard and acknowledged them. Use an open body style whilst listening and give the individual your full attention rather than continuing to work on your computer whilst they speak to you. If the problem you are experiencing is that an individual is behaving defensively towards you, then this type of listening may help to diffuse that defensiveness.
Another approach to try is to seek them out to make small talk or take advantage of any opportunities to socialise with them as part of a group. Talking about subjects outside of work may help you to find something in common and make the relationship between you more comfortable.
If you have tried these improved communication techniques and continue to experience problems with an individual on the team then sometimes you just need to be honest. Approach the person and ask if you can speak to them in private, rather than having the conversation in a public area. Be aware that they may feel like they are being attacked so remain as calm as possible and explain in a non-aggressive manner what you believe the problem to be. Avoid apportioning blame and try to focus on how you feel rather than on their behaviour. Although you may feel intimidated by the person, sometimes failure to confront them can mean that the problem is never resolved.
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